Well, let me write my biography..my autobiography that is. That is to say this is MY story about me...not anyone else's. Some of the things I will tell you are internal..others dont know them except as I tell them. Even those that think they are close may not have been able to fiqure them out without me telling them.
First of all, I have never felt I fit in as I grew up and had a young adulthood. It is only as I mature that I begin to see that perhaps I don't fit in because we are all different. We are all unique and therefore shouldnt "judge ourselves" based on what we THINK others are like. However that was not always my perspective..and isnt always even now.
As a child, I was more sheltered than a lot of children. My mother and father adopted me relatively late in life (mom was 38, dad 40) and were very conservative. This was especially true of my father who truely believed (because it had been pounded into him by a dominant father) that children should be seen and not heard. The only time I saw him willing to be "friends" was when we were around his father...and then he seemed like another child and we were co-defendents against his parent's wraft.
My mother was very protective of me and considered me her pride and joy. However conversely she had wanted a girl...and expected excellent behavior from any child. Apparently she had neither. I was a boy..(apparently)..but not a particularly well adjusted one or well behaving. I was "different". I liked playing with dolls..more than any physical activity. I could play the father of the family when me and the girls played "house"..but now suspect that I would have felt at least as much at home playing the mother. I was not a "normal" boy". On top of all that, I equaled my mom's temper and stubbornness..LOL
At no point did any of this change for the "better". I was always odd, a chest deformity and a "hormone imbalance" resulted in my haveing cleavage. This was a matter of humour to those in the locker room after boy's gym class. Suffice it to say, I wasn't very happy during high school.
At the age of 23, I finally left the small town of Cookeville for Nashville Tn, getting a job there. Over the course of the next few months, I yeilded to my instinctive knowledge recognized in my early teens that I wanted to relate to men by coming out as a gay male. Here again I didnt really fit in. (sigh) I came out as a gay male in the 70s....in the middle of the "butch gay men" age...I didn't feel or look what was referred to as butch. In fact except for a brief period of being "young" and "new meat", I didnt fit ANY of the images of what a gay male was supposed to be. I did, however endure.
At the age of 37, however, I started watching a young boy that lived in my apartment complex perform in drag shows. He had always been a "wild child"..purple hair, rings in the nose etc...and I had been very put off by him. However as he got older and started performing, it resurrected an old desire in me to be "as" a woman. (In my teen years I had fantazied being in a sexual relationship as a woman) So I asked one of the preformers to do my makeup, borrowed a dress from a GG friend and made the plunge. The first time I dressed, as I recall vividly, I looked hideous. The queen that painted me put HER face on me. It didnt look right cuz we had different types of faces, which is not to detract from their ability as a makeup artist. And it was a start.
The question of "are you going to do it again" never seemed to come up because it just seemed necessary that I do so. Part of it, alto maybe a small part, was that I met my first and last (to this date alto I hope that changes) "husband" that very first night. Some readers will know this man as my current roommate: Roy. Then too it seemed such a natural thing for me to do.
For about two years I lived the live of a drag queen...did shows....even being show director in a now long defunct bar in Nashville called Victor Victorias', a true DIVE. After those two years, however, I became burnt out and resigned as a drag performer except for a couple or three pageants and a few charity shows since. I still, however, often get the "twitch" which is what I call the urge to lipsync and dance to the music...after almost 9 years of not doing it very often at all.
Soo, who am I now?! I like to dress..AND I like men. There is a certain degree of artistic enjoyment involved because I find that I really get excited about presenting myself in new looks..especially for the webpage. Maybe some would call me a drag queen but I don't do shows, unless of course you want to consider what I do on the webpage to be a "show biz" type thing. Or am I a "gay crossdresser" which is supposed to be very rare. Maybe the point of the matter is that none of the labels really and truely apply. Maybe they dont apply to ANY of us. We, including myself, are individuals. I know what I like...I like to dress up, and not casually either, and go out and get noticed. I like that attention to be favorable of course (will avoid the potential of negative attention almost as rigoreously as I seek out the favorable)..but still noticed I certainly want to be. I love to share pictures of myself, visit with friends, play on the internet and have my cats and friends around me. I am ME. (SMILE)
Ok, some more about me..hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
1. Age: 48 as of November 30, 2001.
2. favorite colors: blue usually, for clothes and backgrounds for webpages...Black
3. pets: yeah, 6 cats
4. occupation: sales support in the telecommunications industry
5. Home of orgin: Cookeville Tn
6. Home currently: Nashville Tn
7. some of my fav things to do: Read, dress, go out with friends, travel, watch TV and play on the internet.
