After spending about 5 hours yesterday at a denominational conference, and hearing two sermons, I decided that this morning I did not need to necessarily be at church, so I stayed home. Instead I proceeded to watch Logo Tv (a basically Gay and Lesbian channel) and watch their input about the Oscars as well as enjoy some very interesting movies.

One of the things that stands out to me is all the talk about The Devil Wears Prada. I have not seen this movie but the trailers remind me strongly of another movie about a "devil woman" from some years ago called Dangerous Liasons. I loved that movie, but the funny part is what it was that I loved about it. I actully liked the "bad guys", and more specifically the bad female character played by Glenn Close. I remember very clearly watching that movie and being on the edge of my seat cheering at those very times when most of the audiance was gasping at the outrageously evil actions of the main character. I seemed to take special pleasure in the destruction of the other leading character, altought not as much the corruption of the minor characters that the bet that was the main point of the movie was all about. On the other hand, I also kind of enjoyed seeing the Glenn Close character get her comeupance as well, but I seem to remember that even in defeat, with the entire audience of the theater that scene took place in staring at her in derision, she walked out with her head held hight, broken but not destroyed; stoic to the end.

This identification, and admiration of strong MEAN females could be one of two thing. First stong women feature stongly in the psyche of a lot of gay men....which when the makeup comes off, or even when it is on, I essentially am. That strongly often translates to mean is argruable. Secondly perhaps it is on the same par with loving war movies, or other types of violence. Maybe it is just that some of us enjoy our violence in a more "psychological" way rather than in a physical way.

Whatever the reason, I have often found myself cheering for those women, in movies or television shows that were strong, and willing to do whatever it took to get what they wanted. Erica Cane on "All my Children" played so ably by Susan Lucci was a TV example. I liked her a heck of a lot better than I did Tara who was prone to memory loss everytime things didnt go her way, a trait I was all to familar with closer to home. Two of my principal "heroines" growing up were woman rebels....Mae West, she of "come up and see me sometime" fame, and Zsa Zsa Gabor who was such a good housekeeper that when she got a divorce, she always kept the house.

My mother, who I loved dearly, if not without "issues" was a "my way or the highway" kind of woman, but without the force of character of a Zsa Zsa, Erica and Mae. It occurs to me that much of my concept of what woman are, or can be, comes from these 4 personalities, three of whom were domineering and forceful enought to carry it off. All four of them leading me to understand, as a crossdresser/transgendered person, that women are NOT all sweet, loving and kind....at least not all the time.